Teetering on the brink of death

I can deal with most weather conditions but not wind. The birds hate it too with only the hardiest of gulls daring to venture out. Mountain biking and hiking can also become treacherous and are best avoided at my age. Unfortunately for me the Easter break was particularly stormy this year which really limited my options and, inevitably, caused a good deal of disappointment - and poor decision making.

I know, I thought, it’s a particularly high tide today and with the strong winds at the beach it could provide a great photo opportunity. I was already starting to salivate with anticipation of the smell of the sea and the sight roaring, foaming waves crashing against those old concrete flood defences. Not wishing to miss the spectacle I quickly packed my camera and not much else. I’ll just be sitting in the car, I thought.

I arrived about an hour before high tide and parked as close as I could to the edge. Eager not to miss anything I immediately reached for my camera. The car, however, was still in drive mode and, being a modern vehicle, started to move forward. Quick as a flash I put my foot on the… gas. There was a big thump as the car lunged over the edge of the defence wall toward oblivion. To my immense relief the front tyres could get no traction in mid-air and the underside of the car got stuck on the worryingly small barrier. I could see nothing below me and to all intents and purposes was literally teetering on the brink of who knows what?

A million scenarios went through my head and most of them involved me dying, but how? Would I slide slowly into the raging sea below? Would the car roll sideways over and over like in the movies? Will the waves breach the flood defence and sweep me away? What would people think of my stupid death?

The angle of the car meant I wasn’t sure if the driver’s side was safe to exit so I carefully crawled out of the passenger’s side - all the time wondering if car would tilt over and whether I had time to grab my precious camera.

I forgot to bring my phone when rushing out of the house that morning but noticed another car some distance away. Cold, wet and camera-less I banged on his window and he let me in, called emergency services and waited with me until they arrived. All the time I was thinking should I go and get my camera? Surely that would just make me look even more stupid.

The police eventually came, and the fire service, and recovery services and they were all remarkably non-judgemental and I was starting to feel a bit less stupid. I told the police officer about my camera while the recovery was taking place and he laughed understandingly. I can take some pictures on my phone and email them to you, he suggested. That would be amazing, I replied with childish excitement. Thanks Tom, I do wish the photos could have been better though!

Epilogue

Two days later I dropped my beloved camera while getting out of the replacement car, cracking the viewfinder and lens. I think God is trying to tell me something: it’s time to upgrade, perhaps?